Sex Addiction – Is It Really a Disease?

Perhaps you have heard about sex addiction but don’t know too much about it. People hear about different stereotypes that fit the disease and many assume it’s a made up disease that perverts or overly sexual people use as an excuse for their behavior. But, NO! Sex addiction is a real, recognized medical condition that has only come to light in recent years within the psychological and medical profession.

Another reason many people don’t know much about the disease is because most addicts don’t freely talk about sexual disorders. They are either too embarrassed, uncomfortable or ignorant about the topic to discuss it openly with family, friends, or others. As a result, there are many misconceptions and stereotypes about sex addiction that are completely untrue.

When someone hears the term sex addict… Many different thoughts come… Are they thinking about the person who kidnaps and rapes children, the spouse who has multiple affairs, the person who exposes themselves or peeps in windows… or is the person who views pornography at work, or stays online for hours on end… or is the person who has sex with underage partners… or is the “pervert” in the raincoat with the long beard who lives in the scary house at the end of the street… And the example go on… There are so many misconceptions of the term sex addiction.

The National Council on Sex Addiction and Compulsive defines sexual addiction as the “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” Essentially, this means that addicts are so strongly compelled to carry out their addictive behaviors they are willing to risk their:

Health
Relationships
Financial well-being
Employment
Freedom
and in some cases criminal charges.

This disease is much more than someone using it as an excuse for reckless sexual activities. It is a disease, much like alcohol or drug addiction.

In fact, clinicians and researchers have defined the disorder based on criteria used for chemical dependency literature. According to Psych Central, these criteria include the following:

— Frequently engaging in more sex with more partners than intended

— Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.

— Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.

— Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic websites.

— Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.

— Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.

— Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve a desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.

— Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.

As you can see, all of the criteria focus on repetitive activities that are carried out continually by the sex addict. The nature of the activities also is defined by escalation, which is also typical of any addiction. Professionals feel that if a person engages in three or more of the above criteria for a period of at least six months that they are a suffering from sex addiction.

The American Psychiatric Association has issued its own set of preliminary criteria for what they call “Hypersexual Disorder.” Essentially, it is another term for sexual addiction. The symptoms are similar to the above criteria and can be used by medical professionals to help identify sex addiction in people who are seeking help or are in desperate need of care.

It is important that the level of awareness about sexual addiction increases among the general public because there are myriad people suffering from this disease in silence. If it were better understood, addicts would feel more comfortable to come forward and seek treatment. As it is right now, addicts are often ashamed, embarrassed and afraid of how people would react to their sex addiction.

Lesbian Relationships and Friends

One of the most difficult challenges, particularly in a same-sex relationship, is establishing boundaries with friends and blending with each others’ friends. Plus, doing this while remaining secure and making each other feel like she is the most important person in the world!

Ordinarily in lesbian relationships, the majority of friends are the same-sex. Friends can be intrusive, meddlesome, opinionated, jealous, rude and inconsiderate; however, they can also be fun, supportive, considerate, helpful, and great sounding boards. There is no doubt, friends will either play havoc on a relationship or be accepting and considerate.

Let’s work from the premise that the relationship is the top priority and friends are not (but still very important). There are several key areas to focus on that can immediately bolster the relationship. These areas need to be mutually established and respected:

Boundaries – Agree on parameters that are manageable. Determine what the negotiable and non-negotiable items are. Examples: Agree to both be home by 8pm, unless otherwise discussed; no answering phones during dinnertime; cell phones are off-limits when you crawl into bed. If you go to happy hour, invite the other to join or at least communicate plans and be home on time. Remember, these boundaries must be agreed upon. If you end up policing and penalizing because of the boundaries, what you have in place is not working. The boundaries are to be and feel respectful of each other, not to hold you hostage.

Communication – Make each other feel special, loved, secure and safe. Talk to each other about everything. Find out about what is important to each other, feelings, favorite things, pet peeves, goals and dreams, fears and phobias, food, children, families, etc. Get to really know each other better than anyone else. Build trust and respect. Make each other feel valued and important.

Common Interests – Explore what you enjoy doing together such as projects, travel, entertaining friends, cooking, golf, fishing, hiking, etc. It is not necessary to do everything together, but it is healthy to do some (enough) things together. It is important to have fun together and feel connected. Orchestrate your relationship so that you are not always running parallel, but have enough intersecting times that keep you in sync with each other.

Host social occasions – One way to blend with each other’s friends is to jointly host social times at your home such as dinners and game nights. Another is to plan outings with joint friends such as happy hours, going to dinner and movies, so forth. The key is to become more comfortable with each other’s friends. Make efforts to blend friends and be more inclusive.

Spontaneity – Surprise each other in ways that you know are appreciated and liked. Break the routine and break away from all others and do for each other. Make each other feel exceptional.

Happy, long-term relationships are to be nurtured treated as top priority. Focus on enjoying your time together. Include friends when it’s appropriate and mutually agreed upon. There should be no feeling of competing for time, attention and love! Friends are to be fun additions.

Sex Diseases Are Raging, 15 Million Clean US Folks Ruined 2006, Stray A Bit & U Got Possible DEATH

I have been writing lots of love vs lust articles lately. I know a lot about this plus there are so many people out there that do not. One thing that is interesting is that 75% of all people 20 and under have had premarital sex. When you get up to age 44 it is 95%.

It is obvious to anyone past 50 that the sexual nature of humanity has changed, with sex being more open and seemingly more dangerous. I really do not think porn helps anyone but the seller. The authors of porn get mega-rich, while opening crevices in minds that should be left closed. I consider porn dangerous and a breeder of sex crimes and unfaithfulness and childhood experimentation.

You have heard that AIDS started with man having sex with the Green Monkey. Well I don’t know but one day a male aircraft attendant gets off the airplane and sets the homosexual community upside down. I mean one guy, wherever he got it , has killed more than a million people with an infected sex organ. Probably millions of people.

Male lust in Africa has no soul. They have intercourse with babies. Anything that is a woman that can take it gets poked by lust crazy men and we cannot stop it. The lust is so strong they just keep it up. AIDS has cost the taxpayer millions and millions of dollars and the horny men keep on keeping on.

Now here is what the US Government says to women to avoid STD’s

“There are steps you can take to keep from getting an STD:

Don’t have sex. The best way to prevent any STD is to practice abstinence, or not having vaginal, oral, or anal sex.

Be faithful. Have a sexual relationship with one partner who has been tested for STDs and is not infected is another way to reduce your chances of getting infected. Be faithful to each other, meaning that you only have sex with each other and no one else.

Use condoms. Protect yourself with a condom EVERY time you have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Condoms should be used for any type of sex with every partner. For vaginal sex, use a latex male condom or a female polyurethane condom. For anal sex, use a latex male condom. For oral sex, use a dental dam. A dental dam is a rubbery material that can be placed over the anus or the vagina before sexual contact.

Know that some methods of birth control, like birth control pills, shots, implants, or diaphragms, will not protect you from STD. If you use one of these methods, be sure to also use a latex condom or dental dam (used for oral sex) correctly every time you have sex.

Talk with your sex partner(s) about STD and using condoms. It’s up to you to make sure you are protected. Remember, it’s YOUR body! For more information, call the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention at (800) 232-4636.

Talk frankly with your doctor or nurse and your sex partner(s) about any STD you or your partner have or had. Try not to be embarrassed.

Have regular pelvic exams. Talk with your doctor about how often you need them. Many tests for STD can be done during an exam. Ask your doctor to test you for STD. The sooner an STD is found, the easier it is to treat.

For More Information . . .
You can find out more about STD by contacting the National Women’s Health Information Center 800-994-9662″

My advice is “Know Your Man”. If you are going to start a sexual relationship, don’t start it on the sofa or in the car. Both of you go get tested. If he says he is a virgin, make him do it anyway. Then stay with him until the next guy and get tested again. No one is going to pay attention to me however unless you see some photo’s of venereal disease effects and then maybe it will stick with you.

If you take a few minutes to get on the web and check out STD’s you might pay attention. The photo’s will make you sick.