How to Avoid Sex in a Relationship – Here’s 3 Powerful Strategies

Many young girls and even some boys want to know how to avoid sex in a relationship. If you are not aware of this, many youngsters now prefer to abstain from sex before marriage. The risk of unwanted pregnancies and the likelihood of contracting sexually transmitted diseases are deterring a lot of wise youngsters from engaging in sex before marriage. But a problem can arise when one of the partners in the relationship wants to abstain from sex while the other wants to go ahead. There is a potential for conflict here unless the person who wants to avoid sex knows how to deal with the situation. If you find yourself in similar circumstances, this article is just for you.

3 Powerful Strategies to help convince your partner to avoid sex in a relationship

1. Most youngsters do not think about the consequences of having sex before marriage. They are too immature to stop and think about things that can go awfully wrong after the sex act. The millions of teen pregnancies and the resulting abortions that take place around the globe on a daily basis happen primarily because young people don’t stop to think about the consequences of having sex before marriage. Every time you have sex, you give birth to a consequence which could be any of the following.

Nearly 50% of all youngsters between the ages of 15 and 24 indulging in sex before marriage will contract a sexually transmitted disease. This is an official finding made by the United States government. (The source of that information is given below the article). This means that every alternate couple having sex before marriage will end up having a sexually transmitted disease. The really sad thing is most young people are not aware of this alarming fact. You can use these statistics as a deterrent to avoid having sex with your partner. Show these statistics to your partner and take the decision together to abstain from sex.

2. What do you do if your partner is not convinced? It is your health and your life that is at stake. If you contract a sexually transmitted disease, will your partner look after you or pay your medical bills? In fact you need to ask yourself several important questions, and answer those questions as honestly as you possibly can. Just think about this. Can you say for sure that your partner is not infected with any kind of sexually transmitted disease? Do you have any kind of medical evidence to prove it? Do you know for sure that your partner doesn’t have sex with anyone else? Or if they have had sex with even one more individual apart from you, can you be sure that that individual is not infected? Can you really handle a pregnancy or an abortion at this age? You need to ponder over these questions and answer them truthfully. You then need to make a quality decision. The decision that you take can literally save your life.

3. Many people are deceived with the idea of “safe sex”. But in reality, there is no such thing called “safe sex”. It is just a myth. There is abundant proof that condoms do not always prevent AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases. There is also evidence that pregnancies cannot be totally avoided with the use of pills, condoms and diaphragms. So many women still get pregnant after adopting these birth control methods. So a pregnancy can still happen, even after you have taken all these precautions. But still worse, you can end up contracting AIDS or some other life threatening disease. You need to decide whether the price you pay for a few moments of pleasure in bed has to be an unwanted pregnancy or a life-threatening disease. You can verify the statistics mentioned in this article at The United States President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief website.

Meat Pies, Sex and Relationships

“Men don’t know how to be men. Many men fear that they are unsafe.”
~Aaron Bradfield

“To be a spiritually healthy person you have to be an emotionally healthy person.”
~Rob Furlong

What happens when you get 45 men in a room with a pastor and a counsellor to discuss sex and relationships over a meat pie and a can of coke?

Answer: a lot of education, connecting fellowship, and encouragement.

What follows are some of my thoughts from the notes taken from a Sex and Relationships “Real Men Pie Night.”

PORNOGRAPHY

Sex is sacred and pornography devalues what is sacrosanct.

The commonest problem men are dealing with is pornography, and, to a lesser extent, burnout – both physical and spiritual. Because pornography is so accessible these days – one mouse click away – more and more men (and more women for that matter) are becoming entrapped by pornography.

Among the many dangers involved in pornography is the pressure it places on men’s partners; women who feel under pressure to look like and perform like the porn stars.

It’s amazing how many Christian men struggle with pornography, but almost every one of them believes they are alone. It is the oldest lie of the devil to isolate us in such ways.

Interestingly, pornography is not so much about sex, as it’s much more to do with our own story – what we, as persons, have not recovered from. Dealing with our pasts – being honest about them with trusted others – helps to heal us.

Dealing with the problem of pornography probably best begins with therapy, and possibly group therapy. The best thing we can do, in our struggle with pornography, is to be open and honest with a trusted friend, and ask that friend to pray with us.

Openness and honesty are the keys.

The only real exception to complete openness and honesty is timing and wisdom with our wives in declaring our problems. Our wives are not to be burdened with being our accountability partners. A bit like Step 9 of AA’s 12-Step Program, where, amends is to be made, it defeats the purpose if our amends injures the person we want God to heal. We must pray for wisdom and discernment about the details. But we should tell them, somehow, we have a problem that we’re dealing with.

MEN’S AND WOMEN’S IDENTITIES

Just as the quote at top says, men have learned to lose confidence in their male identity. We may struggle with viewing ourselves as on the one hand, dangerous, but, on the other hand, soft. Our lack of male identity is often caused at a societal level, but it was learned and is reinforced all the more from our families of origin.

Men’s overriding psychology about their masculinity is about, “do I have what it takes?” Women’s overriding psychology about their femininity is about, “do you (my man) delight in me.”

If the man’s identity is to treasure his woman, that he makes her the object of his affection, he bridges the gap between him and her.

THE SEX RELATIONSHIP

It’s critically important for men to understand that their women need to be treated with the utmost respect. If a woman isn’t respected she may be characteristically reviled by the thought of sex. Men tend to not understand this and wonder why they have unfulfilling sexual relationships. The sexual relationship between a married couple is a good representation of the overall relationship. If the sex is good it probably means that the woman feels safe, cherished, and respected in the marriage.

A man cannot grow in intimacy with his wife unless he is prepared to devote his whole sexual life to her alone. He must be not just physically faithful, but mentally and spiritually faithful as well. Intimacy ignites passion as a slow but reliable flame.

Where there is a disparity between the libidos of a husband and his wife, where characteristically the husband’s sexual drive is higher, he may be able to engage sexually with her present in ways that she doesn’t need to be actively involved.

But wherever a wife is involved sexually the husband needs to pay caring attention to what leads up to the sexual event. Sex, at least for the woman, begins in the brain. Women are not interested in sex when the relationship is poor. It is up to men, and the onus is on us, to build intimacy with our wives.

Furthermore, it may be a stretch for a man to understand what it might be like to have a body that is sexually penetrated. A man finds it difficult to imagine how vulnerable a woman must be to allow a man to enter into her body. The sex act needs to be creative, not rushed, and not mechanical.

As men we need to treat our women as they should be treated: with the utmost respect.

Lastly, it is of real value for a woman to understand that a man feels rejected deeper down when he isn’t getting sex. But the first onus is on the man to ensure his wife is happy; that she is being loved and respected unconditionally.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Acknowledgement: a special vote of thanks and gratitude for Pastors Rob Furlong and Aaron Bradfield, who were a beautifully complementary team as part of an expert panel providing the above wisdom, and to Pastor Anthony Palmieri for his “Pie Night” vision.

How To Avoid Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)

I will like to start by explain the meaning of sexually transmitted disease. This is a disease that one can get through sexual intercourse. In a world where there are so many STDs with out cure, it will be better to avoid getting a deadly disease. As the saying going says, prevention is better than cure.

As we all know, a sexually transmitted diseases is a type of disease which one get by having indiscriminate and unprotected sex. How can one really avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease? Is sexually transmitted disease good for human? Definitely no. No sane human will like to get a sexually transmitted disease.

For one to avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease, knowledge of how one can get it should be a necessity. The major way through which one can get STDs is through – having indiscriminate and unprotected sex.

For people who are still single, the only sure way to avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease is to practice abstinence. Yes! The only way to avoid getting STD is to avoid having sex.

For the married people, the only way to avoid getting STDs is to be faithful to your marriage partner. Yes when you do this, you will escape the wrath of deadly sexually transmitted diseases like HIV/AIDs,

Most sexually transmitted diseases can be avoided to some extent by practicing safe sex. Safe sex involves the use of condoms.

Example of sexually transmitted diseases includes Chlamydia, Syphilis, HIV and AIDS, Gonorrhea, etc

In summary, the best way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) is to avoid high-risk behaviors and practice safe sex.

Abstinence is still the only ultimate way to completely avoid getting STDs.