Can Watching Porn Affect Your Sex Life?

Is watching porn okay? If a guy likes to watch porn should his sex partner be concerned? Is it healthy or normal for a guy to watch porn frequently when he has a girl friend and a great sex life?

These are very common questions and concerns in men-women relationships. Let us first clear away some confusion about porn and its effects on building a healthy sexual relationship. A study by a group of scientists at the University of Montreal found that men watched porn that matched their own image of sexuality, and quickly discarded material they found offensive or distasteful. Porn did not have a negative effect on men’s sexuality. Porn hasn’t changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible. Thus there is nothing abnormal or unhealthy with watching porn as long as we do not get too obsessive to the point that we choose porn over sex with our partner.

If this happens you should consider your feelings about porn. What makes you so obsessive about porn that your partner feels left out? Is it something about your partner that you are not happy with? Is it due to boredom or an escape from a relationship that is steadily losing some “sparks”?

In this case, you need to sit down to talk with your partner about the issues and concerns in the relationship. The talk must be in such a way that it does not lead to the pinning of blame or assigning the causes of the problems in relationship on her. The goal here is to work together with her to solve the problem. Putting the blame on her will only cause her to get defensive and leading to argument. If you find yourself unable to work this out alone, it could be helpful to talk to a counselor or sex therapist.

However in situation when you have a normal sex relationship and both of you has different views on porn and she is not satisfied with the role of porn in your relationship, there is also a need for both of you to sit down and talk. You need to ask yourself what you like about porn. Is it due to fantasy? Are there things you see from porn that you want both to try together? At the same time, she can also sort out her thoughts about porn. Is it something that interests her at all? If so, she can pick those adult movies that meet her individual taste which can later progress to the stage that both of you can together choose the type of porn to watch together. If she does not like the idea of having porn a part of the sexual relationship, she needs to explain the reasons and a compromise is needed in order to break this deadlock. If both of you can honestly share with each other feelings about porn and porn watching, the concern about the effects of porn on relationship can go away.

Health Benefits of Sex Include Heart Disease Prevention

The health benefits of sex are clear… A recent study in the American Journal of Cardiology finds men who said they had sex once a month (or less) had a higher risk of cardiovascular disease than men who had sex two times a week (or more).

While there has been work in the past to look at the link between erectile dysfunction (ED) and heart disease, this most recent study is the first to investigate the frequency of sex as it might relate to heart health.

Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women in the United States.

For this latest work, researcher Susan A. Hall, Ph.D. of the New England Research Institutes and her colleagues analyzed men who took part in the population based Massachusetts Male Aging Study.

This study looked at erectile dysfunction plus other sexual function variables – Things like libido, for example. The work included 1,165 men (in their 50’s on average) who had no history of heart disease at the beginning of the study, though 213 did have ED at the start of the research.

The participants were followed, on average, for 16 years.

The team found that there was a higher risk of cardiovascular disease as the frequency of sexual activity decreased. When compared to subjects who had sex at least 2 to 3 times a week, men with sexual activity of once a month (or less) had a 45% higher risk of heart disease during the study.

These findings do account for things like age and ED status.

“Our results suggest that a low frequency of sexual activity predicts [cardiovascular disease] independently of [erectile dysfunction] and that screening for sexual activity might be clinically useful,” the researchers write.

As part of the study, the team also investigated the role of sexual desire and the subjects’ capacity for sex as other possible factors in heart disease risk. Hall explains to online medical resource WebMD, “Men who are sexually active likely have libido and the capacity for physical activity. So the ability to have sex might be a marker for overall health.”

Of course a man who’s having regular sex is more likely to be in a supportive, intimate relationship with a regular partner, and experts do agree that this could also be responsible for an improvement in health.

The idea behind the study is that your doctor could get information about your cardiovascular condition, and risk for disease, just by asking some personal questions about your sex life, interest in sex and how active you are on a regular basis.

Of course talking about sex with a doctor or healthcare professional who seems rushed and preoccupied might not be the easiest thing you’ve ever done, but you can’t let this stop you.

Instead, plan what you’ll say…if you have a question, try to keep it to one or two sentences. You might also do some research online (using reputable sites as sources, of course) on your own to get you familiar with the basics.

Most important of all, remember that a doctor is a person, and while he (or she) might be uncomfortable with the topic, this does NOT mean you can’t raise it and get help with your problems.

In fact, expect a bit of awkwardness, feeling embarrassed when you start out, and you’ll be better prepared to face it in the moment, rather than back down and not get the answer you need.

The thing for men, and the women who love them, to take away from this research is that sexual health may have a lot more to do with heart disease prevention than medical science has realized.

How To Restore Sexual Libido In Your Relationship

Are you unhappy with your sex life because she has little or lack of sexual desire? What can you do when you are faced with this situation?

Do you have any of the following symptoms-

(a) You have sex maybe 10-12 times in 3 years
(b) She has little or no interest in sex and any other sexual activities
(c) Sex becomes a chore for her
(d) You initiate almost all sexual activities
(e) When she does initiate it, she wants to quickly get over with it
(f) You no longer have any sexual fantasies about your partner
(g) You do not feel connected to each other emotionally and sexually
(h) You increasingly feel lonely, dissatisfied, unloved and empty

If you have one or more of the above symptoms, you are likely to face the situation of a low or no-sex relationship or sexless marriage. There may be many underlying reasons for a woman to be not interested in sex and it is very normal for you to feel frustrated when you have unmet expectations.

Here are a few suggestions that you can try at least to start the ball rolling in order to reverse this trend of decreasing sexual desire.

(1) Reclaim your sexual side for yourself

Orgasm is a great stress reliever and there is a need for an outlet for your sexual release. A way you can do is to masturbate. This will help to keep your emotions in check if the level of frustration continues to intensify. Do remember that it is your responsibility to keep in touch with your own physical needs.

(2) Touch her in non-sexual ways

Studies have shown that a simple touch can reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure, decrease pain and fear, inhibit loneliness and release endorphins in the brain that not only make us feel loved, but want to give love in return.

Affection and non-sexual touch can build trusts, deepen intimacy and strengthen a relationship. Holding hands, hugging, kissing and gentle massage of the neck, shoulders and back are wonderful ways to show affection without the pressure of sex. You need to break the touch barrier that is happening between the both of you.

(3) Have a heart-to-heart talk

You can put across how you feel to your woman in a non-confrontation way. You can say something like this – “I love you. I feel that something that is important to me is missing in our relationship. I need a more intimate relationship.” Then ask her to set aside a time to have the most open and honest conversation about sex that you can ever have with her.

If she says no, ask if she would prefer to do it with the help of trained personnel such as marriage counselor or a sex therapist who is non-judgmental and unbiased. If she still says no, tell her that being in a sexless marriage is not what you want and you are willing to work with her to make life together better and that you are asking her to be willing to do the same.

During the open and honest conversation there is a need to find out about your woman’s sexuality such as whether she ever feels sexy, either alone or with you; whether she can pinpoint anything that happen to her in the past that can cause her to hold back sexually; has she ever masturbated or have an orgasm; any reasons for her for not wanting to have sex.

There is a need on your part to be dedicated and patient enough to help her discover her sexuality, possibly for the first time. You must also be willing to do whatever it takes to let her feel comfortable enough to feel sexual.

You need to tell her that you feel unloved, dissatisfied and empty when being trapped in a low-sex or sexless situation. Explain to her that you are willing to do anything to make sure she will enjoy a sexual relationship with you as much as you will.

If her level of sexual experience is an issue, offer to show her what feels good for you. Also ask her to show you what feels good to her, the better if she is willing to masturbate in front of you. Help her to embrace her sexuality and encourage her to share it with you. Learning how to love and please each other is a great bonding experience which can help to strengthen a relationship.

Living in a sexless relationship for long times is very stressful and unhealthy physically, mentally and emotionally. All it takes is the willingness to invest the time and energy to do whatever it takes to save your marriage/relationship by revitalizing your sex life.